


Poor Mikey

by LuckyDeathStar



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-11-25 15:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20914199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuckyDeathStar/pseuds/LuckyDeathStar
Summary: I suck at titles and suck at summaries. Mikey comes to turn with his nightmares and his feelings.TCest, don't like, don't read.





	1. Chapter 1

Mikey woke up with a  jolt . That was the fourth time this week he had had a dream like that. He knew he was going to have dreams of an adult nature, his father had sat him and his brothers down when they were 12 to explain the changes in every boys life, but ... he was barely 15. Why now? Why them? Mikey knew that he and his brothers were the only ones of their kind. But he didn't like the fact that he would wake up in a cold sweat, nauseated and turned on at the same time. Looking down at his body, Mikey groaned and huffed, climbing out of bed to grab his bedding, sneaking down to the laundry room.

"I must have the cleanest sheets in the world at this point." He muttered as he sank down to the ground in front of the washer. He had been waking up almost every day for ... he wasn't sure for how long, but he would wake up wet and sticky. Taking a deep breath, Mikey stared off into space as he thought about his most recent dream. 

Donnie had been showing him the new adjustments to the Battle Shell, and when he went into the more technical details, Mikey found himself zoning out and looking at his brother's calves as he walked around, pointing at the detailing. "Are you listening to me at all?" Donnie asked his brother, who blushed and nodded before looking away shyly. Donnie rolled his eyes and shook his head as he made his way over to Mikey, cupping the younger terrapin's face in his hands and leaning in close before smacking him clean across the face. "Disgusting. How dare you think that?" Donnie asked him, anger in his dark eyes. 

Jolting awake, Mike didn't realize he had fallen asleep again, the gentle shake of the washer lulling him to sleep. His dream had been different this time. Raising a hand up, Mikey rubbed his face as he thought about Donnie slapping him. Hearing the washer click off, Mikey got up shakily and moved his bed linens to the dryer before making his way back to his room, grabbing the spare blanket from the hall closet. At the rate he was going, there wasn't going to be any spare blankets. 

Curling up on his bed, Mikey felt the tears come to his eyes. His dreams had been a healthy mix of sexually exciting dreams, and terrifying dreams of his brothers turning against him. Taking a deep breath, Mikey tried to think of something, anything, but the cold eyes of his brother as he tried to go back to sleep. 

*~*

Morning came too soon for the orange banded turtle. Groaning softly as he heard his alarm, Mikey sat up and slapped the offending noisemaker before rubbing his face. Thankfully, his remaining sleep had been dreamless. He wasn't sure he could have handled another dream like that. Making his way to the kitchen, Mikey was nudged out of the way by  Raph , who grumbled about wanting to try a new  weightlifting regime. Mikey paused and took a deep breath, his brothers unique scent sending tingles straight to his groin. 

"You alright, Mike?" Donnie asked as he came up behind him.

Mikey jumped and looked at Donnie in a panic. "Uh... Fine. Fine." He stammered before having a flash of the dream before practically running to the kitchen. Raising an eye ridge, Donnie watched him go and chalked it up to Mikey's  eccentrics .

Leo was already in the kitchen, enjoying a cup of tea with Splinter, as they did every morning after meditation.  Raph was rustling through the  cupboards as he looked for his cereal before making a bowl. Splinter watched all of them silently as his sons got themselves taken care of for breakfast. "Everyone sleep well?" He asked, and Mikey felt his cheeks turn pink. Did his dad know?

Similar mumbles of confirmations came from his brothers and Mikey took a chance to glance at his brothers. Did they all look guilty? Were they also sneaking to the laundry room to take care of their linens?

"I slept well for the most part, until the dryer went off." Donnie said. He was the lightest sleeper, and his office was the closest to the laundry room. "It made me realize how late it was and I sent myself to bed."

Mikey felt a knot in the pit of his stomach. If he hadn't been doing the laundry, then he wouldn't have woken up his genius brother. Taking a deep  breath he opened his mouth to  apologize before  Raph grunted at them. 

"Yea. That was me. I don' like sleeping in a wet bed." He said shrugging it off. "My bottle of water spilled on my bed, so I needed to run the dryer." Raphael said nonchalantly. 

"Do I need to set a rule about when you guys can use the washing facilities?" Splinter asked as he watched his sons clean up from breakfast. "I know you boys are growing up, and are waking up sticky because your bodies aren't-"

"No, Papa. No more sex talks." Mikey said cupping his hands over his ear slits. "I'll do extra back flips, just no more sex talks." He said making a face. 

Splinter chuckled. "We have enough linens, so we can just give each of you a set each night to change as needed." He said knowingly. "Once you are older, that will stop. I was just a little older than you when it stopped for me." He added, earning four disgusted groans. "Alright, let us go to the dojo for training." He said, watching his sons go. 

The rest of the day went by with no issues, Mikey noticed. Mikey tried to keep his eyes to himself, but his brothers continued to catch his attention. 

" Helloooooo . Earth to Mikey."  Raph said snapping his fingers in front of his brother's face. Mikey jolted back to reality. "Damn you're zoning worse than usual." He said with a chuckle. "Cat got your tongue?" he teased. 

Mikey shook his head. "It's nothing. I think I'm going to head to bed. Night  Raph ." He said yawning. He knew it was earlier than he usually went to sleep, by a few hours, at least. But at least in the sanctity of his bedroom, he didn't have to worry about his brother ' s bodies.  Raph raised an eye ridge as he watched his brother go. Usually Mikey was the last to go to bed, curfew be damned. But he had a chance to watch the match he had been waiting for in peace, so he wasn’t going to worry too much about his baby brother. 

*~* 

Mikey stared at the ceiling, whimpering softly as he took care of his hard on. He wasn’t going to think of them. He just wasn’t. Thinking about anything else, Mikey tried to think about only the pleasure as he moved his hand faster. Panting quietly, Mikey closed his eyes and bucked into his hand, shuddering and jumping when he felt a different hand on him. Opening his eyes slightly, he noticed he couldn’t really focus as his mystery guest continued to stroke him, touching him exactly the way to get his engine running. Fumbling, Mike tried to move his hands down, wanting to touch them too, but his hands were gently pushed aside before his shaft was enveloped in a warm wet cave. 

“ Fuckkkkk .” Mikey groaned, his eyes rolling back into his head as he felt the warmth. Panting, Mikey bucked up into the eager mouth, begging them to do something, anything. He just wanted to feel release.

Feeling as though he was doused in cold water, Mikey woke with a start. Groaning to himself he rubbed his face. What was wrong with him? Curling up into a ball, Mikey decided he didn’t care if he was sticky, he didn’t want to wake Donnie up again. 

Sighing, Mikey tried to go back to sleep. This was getting ridiculous. 

*~*

“R...  Raph ? Can I talk to you?” Mikey asked his  hot headed brother a few days later.  Raph looked over at him curiously before nodding. “I. I don’t know how to explain it. But I’m scared.” He said, shrinking into himself.  Raph turned off the television he was watching before turning to his brother. 

“Mikey, what’s wrong?  Yer kinda worryin ’ me here.”  Raph said, his voice soft, comforting. 

“I like boys.” Mikey admitted, preparing himself for the upcoming barrage of fists. “ Not.. Not just any boys. You.... and Don, and Leo too.” He told him. When  Raph hadn’t replied, Mikey took a chance to peek at him, and instantly regretted that mistake. 

“How... what the fuck is wrong with  ya ? We’re  yer fuckin’ brothers, Mike.”  Raph spat, standing up and storming away, calling for Don and Leo. “Hey, Don! Leo. Get  yer asses over here.” He  bellowed, thankful their father had gone to visit a friend of his in another dimension. Donnie and Leo came over, curiously. “Our baby brother has a confession to make.” He sneered. 

Mikey curled even tighter into a ball. He couldn’t tell them. Not after how Raphael reacted. The turtles in blue and purple looked at each other, then at Raph, confused. Raphael rolled his eyes and stormed over to Mike, grabbing his arm and making him stand. 

“Tell them. Tell them all about it,  ya little freak. Tell them what you want to do to them.”  Raph growled, dragging Mikey to stand in front of their brothers. “We have ourselves a fag for a brother. Not just a fag, but a fuckin incestuous one at that!”. He growled, throwing Mikey onto the ground. The tears that had been threatening to escape ever since  Raph had stormed off made their breakaway, sliding down Mikey’s face in rivers. 

“That explains why he’s always touching us, always hanging around us.” Donnie said matter-of-factly. “You want us and are trying to convince us to feel the same when we simply don’t.”

Leo crossed his arms. “Pack your bags Mike. You  have to leave. You can’t live here anymore.”

“What? No! Leo, please. This is my home!” Mikey begged, crawling over to his oldest brother, trying to take his hands. “I won’t touch you, I won’t even be near you, but please! Don’t make me leave!” Mikey begged, his breath hitching as he cried harder. 

Leonardo took his hands from his brother and shoved him aside. “If you’re not going to pack your bags then you can go now. We don’t want you here.” He snapped before turning on his heel and walking off to his own room. 

Mikey rubbed his face but otherwise didn’t move. He couldn’t believe it. How could his brother, the one that prided himself on honor and family above all else, kick him out over this? He couldn’t help it! Mikey took a deep breath and went to stand up, before a jolt of pain shot through his plastron. 

“Fearless told  ya to get the fuck out!”  Raph snapped before kicking him in the chest again. Mikey curled into a ball to try and get away from the kicks. Noticing Donnie standing there, he tried to reach out to his logical brother. 

“Donnie, please. Help me!” Mikey begged, but Donnie instead turned and walked away. “Donnie! Please! Don’t leave me!” Mikey cried out, before waking up in bed, his purple banded brother shaking him in worry. 

“Mikey! Talk to me. What’s wrong?” Donatello’s soothing voice came through the fog in Mikey’s brain. Mikey snapped to reality and focused on Donnie before backing away from him, crying out. 

Donnie looked at him and sighed. “Bad dream?” He asked him softly. He knew sometimes Mikey had terrible dreams, worse than his normal nightmares, and the only thing to help calm him down was to gently talk to  him, and wait it out.  Mikey curled into a ball, wishing that their mutation hadn’t changed them as much as it had. He would have loved to be able to pull all of his limbs into his shell at that moment. 

Donnie waited patiently, watching Mikey. “What happened?” he asked as he noticed Mikey’s tears slowing down. 

Mikey shook his head but took a deep breath. “I’m. I’m scared, Don. I can’t....” He admitted after a few moments of silence. “I can’t have you guys hating me. Making me leave.” He said. 

“Did you dream that we kicked you out?” Donnie asked, causing Mikey to frown. He knew that tone, that was Donnie’s ‘clinical’ tone. The tone he used to get information out of his brothers while trying not to be too interested. It always felt to Mikey too sterile. Almost as though Donnie didn’t actually  care, but was going through the motions. “Mike. There is no reason for any of us to want to make you leave.”

“I’m gay, Donnie. I... I don’t like girls. Those girls, in the magazines that  Raph has hidden that he thinks we don’t know about … they do nothing for me. They look... weird.” He said before realizing he had admitted his secret. Well. One of them anyway. 

“What do you mean by weird?” Donnie asked, moving closer to Mikey, rubbing his shell in comforting motions. 

“Like. Squishy. And not in a good way.” Mikey said, trying to resist Donnie’s attempts at comfort. He was terrified that Donnie was lulling him into a false sense of security before ripping his heart out. 

“So, the company of men turn you on?” Donnie asked, a soft husk to his voice. Mikey tensed as he heard him. Taking a  breath he looked at Donnie, his sky blue eyes very pale as he was upset. “Tell me, Mikey, what is it, about men, that turn you on?” he asked. 

“A...are you saying, you’re okay with me … being gay?” Mikey asked, still on edge. 

Donnie nodded and looked at him owlishly. “Why wouldn’t I be? It would be pretty hypocritical of me to hate you for that.” He told him simply. 

“You... you’re gay too?” Mikey asked, his mind blown. 

“Well. Pan. I like people, not genders.” Donnie explained. “Mine is kind of complicated, as I’m pretty damn sure no one would want to be with a mutant turtle.” He said with a shrug. 

“I would.” Mikey admitted before going wide eyed before standing up. “Ignore that. I didn’t say anything.” He said before running to the bathroom to get sick. Donnie was following him quickly. “I’m so sorry Donnie. Please …. don’t tell the others. I don’t care what I have to do, but please don’t leave me.” He cried as he got sick. 

Donnie crouched next to his brother and rubbed his back gently. “It’s alright. If you … if you want me to, I’ll forget you said anything.” Donnie said, his heart breaking. Both for his brother feeling upset and feeling as though he had to hide, but also for himself. If anything, Donnie felt as though he had the best chance with Mikey. 

Mikey finished and sat down on the floor of the bathroom, crying softly. “I’m sorry Donnie.” He said, gratefully accepting the cup of water from his brother. Rinsing his mouth out, Mikey avoided looking at his brother. He was waiting for the axe to fall. 

“Mike.... I will ask you this once. And it will not leave this stall.” Donnie started, watching him. He had to  know, he just did. “ D.. Do you .. Do you have feelings for me?” He asked his brother cautiously. 

Mikey didn’t respond at first. Donnie was starting to lose hope. Deciding to take things into his own hands, Donnie reached over and cupped Mikey’s face. Mikey closed his eyes as he felt Donnie moving his head to look at him. He couldn’t look at his brother. Not now, probably not ever. 

“Please, forgive me.” Donnie whispered before leaning in and pressing his lips to his youngest brothers.  Mikey tensed up as he felt Donnie kiss him. His brain was swirling. He was being kissed. KISSED. Pulling back, Mikey looked at Donnie with tears in his eyes again. “I’m sorry …  “ Donnie whispered before getting up and heading back to his room. He couldn’t believe it. He thought that Mikey had said he wanted him. Mikey had SAID he would go for him. That had to mean something, didn’t it?

Mikey watched him go and brought his fingers up his lips. He could still feel Donnie’s lips on his. Mikey flushed the toilet before he got sick again and stood up to follow Donnie, wanting to talk, when he heard one of his other brothers coming into the bathroom. Leo. 

Not wanting to talk to his oldest brother just yet, Mikey waited until Leo was in a stall before starting to leave. 

“It’s not like you to be up this early, Mike.” Leo said, his voice showing he had been awake for a little bit already. “You should come meditate with me and Master Splinter.“ He said, the tone of his voice hinting that it was not a request.

Mikey bit his lip as he looked at the door as though waiting for Donnie to come back. Wondering idly if he could sneak back to bed and play it off as though he had only been awake to use the restroom, Mikey continued to head to the door, making a show of yawning loudly and shuffling his feet. Once he made it out of the  door he thought he had cleared it when he felt an hand on his arm. “I’m sleepy, Leo. I  wanna go back to bed. I had a nightmare.” Mikey told him, hoping his brother would have mercy on him. Mikey tried to ignore the warmth of his  brothers hand on his arm. Oh, how he wished he could feel those hands on his body. 

Leo frowned and looked at his brother. He didn’t have his mask on yet, he rarely did in the mornings when it was time for meditation. “A nightmare? Mikey, you’ve been having them a lot lately, are you alright?” He asked. The last time he had had nightmares that intense, Leo himself had been passed out on the couch at Casey’s family farmhouse. 

Mikey shook his head and felt the tears pricking at his eyes again. He couldn’t tell Leo. Leo of all people wouldn’t understand him. Leo saw the tears in his  brothers eyes and pulled him close into his arms. “Mikey, what’s wrong?” Leo asked, feeling the sadness and loneliness coming  off of his brother in waves. Mikey let the tears fall as he felt his  brothers arms around him. Even if he got kicked out, he knew he could at least remember this. 

Leo stroked his brother’s carapace as he listened to Mikey cry. Mikey never cried. Ever. He was always bubbly and cheerful, the turtle that could light up a room with his smile, the one that if you were in a bad mood, or just having a bad day, he would do everything he could to make the feel better. 

“Leo... I c-can't... I can’t do this anymore.” Mikey sobbed as he clung to his brother. Leo’s heart broke into more pieces than he could count. “I can’t hide. It hurts. I don’t want to leave... please don’t make me leave. I can’t help it!” He continued on, pressing his face into his  brothers plastron as his body shook with tears. 

“We would never make ya leave, why would ya think that of us?” Raph’s voice came out as he came out of his room. “Mike, man, what’s wrong?”  Raph asked his brother, just as frightened as Leo was by the tears from their youngest brother. “Mike?” he asked, placing a hand on Mikey’s shell. 

“I’M GAY, OKAY?” Mikey said pulling back from Leo, rubbing his face. “Go ahead. Tell me to leave. Tell me you hate me.” he said. He didn’t know if Don was out to their  brothers but he wasn’t going to  out him. “On top of that? I want you. Both of you. And Don. I want all of you.” He said shaking as he looked at them before rubbing his face again and going to his room, quickly shoving stuff into his bag. 

Raph looked at Leo before heading to Mikey’s room, watching him curiously. “We didn’t kick  ya out. Why are  ya packing?”  Raph asked Mikey as he watched him. “Don’t  ya think … maybe we..”

“If you try to tell me that you two feel the same, don’t. No need to lie and try to make me feel better.” Mikey snapped as he continued to pack. “What are the fucking odds of that?” He asked, showing  Raph that not only was Mikey upset, he was hurting. Mikey rarely ever cursed, except when he was in pain.  Raph shot a look at Leo before moving  in to the room and grabbing Mike, kissing him hard. 

Mikey tried to pull away from him, tried to resist him.  Raph reached his hand up to cup Mikey’s face, trying to comfort him. Mikey stopped resisting but didn’t respond.  Raph pulled back, a blush creeping up on his cheeks.  Mikey narrowed his eyes and pulled away as he looked at his brother.  Raph rubbed the back of his head, pulling his bandana off. “Mikey ….”  Raph said softly, reaching over to cup his face again. “I think … we all need to talk.” He said softly. Mikey closed his eyes as he felt  Raph’s warm hand on his face before nodding. “Stay... stay here. Let me get Don and Leo.” He said leaning in and stealing another kiss, hopeful that Mike would respond this time.  Raph thought he saw a blush creeping up on Mikey’s cheeks as he headed out of the room. 

Leo was sitting in the kitchen, staring into a warm mug of tea as though he thought it would have  all of the answers in the world.  Raph cleared his throat as he came in. “Get Donnie. Head to Mikey’s room. We... we’re all  gonna talk.” He said, noticing that Leo just nodded and stood up, leaving his tea sitting on the table.

Raph went back to Mikey’s room and sat on the chair at Mikey’s desk, careful not to sit on or otherwise disturb any of his youngest brother’s artwork. Mikey continued to straighten up his room, needing something, anything to do while he waited for his siblings. “Mike … it’s  gonna be okay.”  Raph told his brother, trying to give him some sort of comfort. 

Mikey sighed and shook his head before sitting on his bed, grabbing a stuffed animal that April had gotten him. “Sure. How long until you kick me out?”

If  Raph could have rolled his eyes any harder, he would have given himself an aneurysm. “Michelangelo! We are not  kickin ’  yer ass out, I wish  ya would quit  sayin ’ that!”  Raph snapped as Donnie and Leo came in, cautious but curious. Donnie sat on the far edge of Mike’s bed as Leo settled down onto the floor. “Don’t  ya think we’d have kicked  ya out already if we were  gonna ?”  Raph shook his head. 

“They haven’t kicked me out, and I’ve been out to them for a year.” Donnie told him. “Of course, it was weird at first, but they came around.”

“You knew?!?!” Mikey snapped looking at his two oldest brothers. “Why didn’t anyone tell me! I’ve been thinking I’m messed up... that something was WRONG with me!” Mikey told his brothers, shaking. “For the last … couple of months … I’ve felt so wrong. There is no way this is normal.” He said, shaking as he grabbed a  wash cloth and a nearby cup of water from his last painting. Dipping the corner of the wash cloth in the water, Mike started to wipe and dab at his upper thighs, showing that he had been painting his thighs to hide the marks there. 

Leo’s eyes narrowed as he saw the marks. “How long?!” He asked sharply, trying to hide that he was hurt. A good leader knew his team better than he knew himself. How had he missed this of his younger brother?

“A few months. Ever since the first dream...” He admitted softly, feeling bare. “I felt … I felt like I couldn’t tell you, not after … Raph made fun of that gay couple.” He said. 

“Oh my God, Mikey. I said that years ago. I didn’t even know what it meant.”  Raph said defensively. “How do you still remember this kind of thing?”

Mikey sighed and shook his head. “When you hear your older brother, the one that you’ve had a huge crush on for years, even if you didn’t understand what that meant, talk about how disgusting it was to see two guys kiss …" he explained. “And then you go and kiss me now...”  Raph at least had the decency to look embarrassed. 

“You kissed him too?” Donnie asked with an amused grin. 

Mikey sighed and shook his head. “Don’t ….” he shot at Donnie. He was upset, and it felt as though his brothers were making fun of him. 

“I was a dumb kid, Mikey. I didn’t know anything about it. I didn’t realize how … how guys could feel like that to each other.”  Raph admitted. “How was I supposed to know I would feel like that later?”

Mikey shook his head. “Doesn’t explain you kissing me.” he grumbled, tensing slightly as he felt Leo’s hands on his thighs, carefully caressing the marks there. “ Wh.. What are you doing, Leo?” he asked softly, his body reacting against his will to his  brothers ministrations. 

Leo leaned in and started to kiss at the individual cuts gently. “I want to make you feel better. I want to kiss away your pain.” He admitted as he continued, guilt coming  off of him in waves. “I failed you as a leader... no, as a brother. You were in pain, and I didn’t notice.”

Mikey sighed softly as he watched him. “I hid it. I was scared.” He told them. “A good ninja hides his weakness.  T.. this  was.. This was a weakness.” Mikey told them, shaking slightly. 

“This has to stop, Mikey. I don’t care what I’m doing. If you ever feel .. like you need to cut again .. please, come to me. I will do everything I can to help you.” Leo said, his eyes becoming wet. 

“Same, Mike. The last thing I want to hear about is  ya hurting  yerself because  yer worried.”  Raph said, trying to word it in a way that made sense. Subtlety was not his strong suit. 

“Even if you just want me nearby, just come to the lab.” Donnie told him. “We’re here for you. If you want all of us, none of us, Leatherhead whoever... we just want you to be happy.” Donnie said, deciding that he would be happy if his brother was happy, even if he wasn’t with him. 

Mikey nodded and took a deep breath. “But … I want all of you. Even … even if you don’t feel the same.” He said. “I just don’t want to leave.”

“And you don’t have to leave. Mike, this is your home. And we want you too.” Leo told him once he had finished kissing the scars. “We were … we were worried you wouldn’t feel the same.”

Mikey looked at Donnie. “When you came out to them, did … did they talk about themselves?”

Donnie chuckled and rubbed his face. “Well, when I came out to them, it was after I had found them in bed together.”

Mikey’s eyes went wide as his mouth dropped open. “WHAT! They were in bed together?”

Raph blushed deeply. If he had been wearing his mask it would have been the same shade. “We... We haven’t done much. Just cuddling, mostly. We don’t want to rush things.”

“Why didn’t I know about this?” Mikey said, feeling left out. 

“Simply, Mikey, we didn’t want you to feel as though you had to do anything with us if you didn’t want to.” Leo told him. “Donnie hasn’t really done anything with us either, honestly. We’ve shared kisses with him … but …"

“I wasn’t comfortable hiding things from you.” Donnie told him honestly. “I told them I didn’t want to do more than kisses... until you knew. But they weren’t to come and tell you just to get in my pants.”

“But you don’t wear pants?” Mikey said, not getting the phrase. Donnie chuckled and moved gently on the bed to be closer to Mikey. 

“No rush, no pressure. We just want you to know, you didn’t need to worry. But, we all worried. When we had the dreams. It’s normal. Well ... normal for us.” He said gently wrapping an arm around his youngest brother. “We’ll be alright.” He said gently, smiling as he felt Mikey moving his head to rest against his. “I wish you would have come to us sooner.”

“I couldn’t … I was terrified.”

“We know, Mike. We get it.”  Raph said coming over, carefully walking around Leo to sit on Mikey’s other side. “But now, we’re open.”

“What do you see yourselves as?” Mikey asked, leaning into Donnie more. “I’m gay, Donnie’s pan … “

Leo smiled and blushed softly. “Bi.” he told him honestly. “Well. You know how I felt for Karai.”

“Gay.”  Raph said. “Girls … eh.”

“But all of those magazines!” Mikey said giggling. 

“Casey got those for me. I can’t exactly ask him to get me gay ones, can I?”  Raph said rolling his eyes. “He’s one of those that would probably think I would hit on him or something.”

Donnie chuckled. “I can get you a subscription to a magazine or something, Raph.” He said leaning in to kiss at Mikey’s head, smiling as he heard what sounded like a happy sigh coming from his brother. 

Raph shook his head. “It’s alright. I don’t really focus on the girls. Honestly haven’t used them in a while....” He admitted, shooting a look at Leo, who blushed. 

“Well, let me know.” Donnie said as he glanced at the clock. “Hey, Leo? Do you think  Dad’ll let us skip practice today? On account of Mikey having a rough night?” He asked. If anyone had a chance at getting their Sensei to agree to canceling practice, it was Leo. 

Leo smiled shyly. “Yea. I already talked to him. We’re off the hook for this mornings practice.”

“Speaking of Sensei... what … does he know?” Mikey asked curiously.

“He knows how the three of us feel, yes. And has expressed to us that he’s alright with us acting upon our feelings, he just doesn’t want to see them. He’ll probably come to you soon. I haven’t told him anything, except that you’ve been having nightmares.” Leo explained. 

Mikey nodded. “I’ll talk to him … when I’m ready.” He told them, smiling shyly as he felt  Raph’s hand high upon his thigh. “But for  now … I just want cuddles and kisses... is that okay?” He asked yawning and blushing as his brothers carefully joined him on the bed. 

Mikey knew it wasn’t going to be 100% automatically, but he felt as though things were going better than he thought. Feeling more comfortable than he had in months, Mikey fell asleep in the turtle pile, surrounded by his brothers and hopefully lovers. 


	2. Chapter 2

“Hey, Don? Can I use your computer for a bit?” Mikey asked as he came into his brother's lab. His purple banded brother looked up at him from the computer components in front of him.

“Huh? Oh. Yea. That’s fine, Mikey, just don’t put another virus on it,” Donnie said teasingly. 

“Hey! That wasn’t my fault! I didn’t know that Minecraft site wasn’t legit!” Mikey said, grinning. “At least not until the naked ladies showed up,” he said, making a face. 

Grabbing the laptop and carrying it carefully to the cot in the room, Mikey got comfortable and started to type, staying quiet, much to Donnie’s relief and curiosity. 

Despite all three of his brothers explaining that yes, the feeling is normal, they all feel the same for each other, Mikey was confused. If they all felt the same for each other, why hasn’t anything happened yet? It wasn’t for lack of trying on Mikey’s part. 

“Hey, Donnie? Does your printer work?” The nunchuck wielding turtle asked. “I want to print, but I wanted to make sure Leo didn’t break it like he does the toaster.” He added, teasing their blue-banded brother. 

“I’m a little low on color ink, so make sure what you’re printing is in black and white,” Donnie replied distractedly. Mikey nodded and printed the information and brought the laptop back to Donnie’s workstation. Grabbing the finished print job, Mikey headed back to his room, “accidentally” leaving the screen he was on still loaded. 

Donnie glanced over and gulped as he saw the title on the page: “The Gay Mans Guide To Safe and Pleasurable Sex.”

Mikey wandered over to Raph, who was in the living room, absently watching a movie on TV. Noticing that Raph wasn’t paying that much attention to the screen, Mikey straddled his lap and kissed his brother hungrily, rubbing their plastrons together. Smiling to himself as Raph kissed him back just as eagerly, Mikey started to rub at Raph’s sides, slowly easing down to rub at the red-banded turtles' hips. 

Raph tensed up and pushed Mikey off of him before quickly walking off in the direction of the bathroom. Mikey swallowed hard as he watched Raph make his escape, albeit walking a little funny. 

Mikey pulled his legs up to his chest, fighting the urge to cry. He wouldn’t cry. He couldn’t. What was wrong? Was it him? Did his brothers lie to him when they said they felt it too? Sniffling softly, Mikey rested his head on his knees, staring off into space as he let his mind wander. 

Finished with his mid-day meditations, Leo came out into the living room and listened carefully. He knew his brothers' sounds, and could almost always know where his brothers were by sound alone. Figuring that Raph was in the showers and Don was in his lab, Leo listened for his youngest brother. 

Hearing a soft sob coming from the living room, Leo frowned and looked over to see his orange banded brother, curled into a tiny ball on the couch. Coming over to him, Leo tried to make some noise as not to startle the young turtle. “Mike?” Leo asked as he came around, his heart breaking as he saw Mikey on the couch. “Mike, what’s wrong?”

Mikey shook his head and sniffled again. He felt stupid for even thinking things would be better. He should have known. Turtle luck and all. Leo nodded slowly. “I’m going to get some tea. Would you like some?” He asked his brother, who shook his head and wiped his face as he sat up. When he had fallen over, he wasn’t sure.

Leo nodded and leaned in to place the gentlest of kisses on Mikey’s head before heading to the kitchen to start the kettle. Hearing their father puttering around in his room made Leo contemplate what could be wrong with Mike. 

Coming back into the living room with two mugs, Leo sat near Mikey and showed him one of the cups. “I made you hot chocolate,” Leo told him, setting the cup in question on the table in front of them. Mikey nodded numbly but continued to stare out into space.

“Did you .... were you guys lying?” Mikey asked softly, not looking anywhere in particular. Had Leonardo not been as close to his brother as he was, he might not have heard him. 

“About what?” Leo asked. He had an inkling, but he wanted to make sure they were on the same page before commenting. 

“About feelings. How you felt.” Mikey replied. 

“About you? Or in general?” Leo asked. 

“All of you said that you felt the same ... That you wanted me as much as I wanted you. But .... nothing I do seems to do anything.” He said shakily. 

“I see,” Leo said as he sipped his tea. “I can’t speak for Don or Raph. But I know I was telling the truth.” Leo answered him. 

“You have a funny way of showing it. Every time I try to do more with any of you, I get knocked down. I just had a nice make out with Raph..... his kisses are addictive .... but he just pushed me off and stalked off to the showers. Leo? Is.... is there something wrong with me?” Mikey asked, his voice cracking slightly as the tears started up again.

Instead of listening to an answer from Leo, Mikey got up and ran to his room, nearly knocking Donnie over in the process. Donnie raised an eye ridge and looked at Leo before following Mikey to his room. 

Knocking gently, Donnie waited for Mikey to answer. He didn’t want to just barge in on the young turtle. Tapping again, a bit harder this time when he didn’t hear a response, Donnie sighed. “Gelo. Can we talk?” He asked, hoping that the silly childhood nickname would help. Donnie frowned as he heard a sob coming from the other side of the room. “Mikey?” He asked, quickly unlocking the door and coming inside. 

Mikey was curled into the tiniest ball he could manage as he cried. Donnie felt his heart breaking as he watched and heard him. Carefully coming up to him, Donnie sat on the bed and pulled his brother to him, hugging him tightly. Mikey stiffened as he felt his brother's arms on him. “Go away, Don,” he mumbled. 

“Not until you talk to me. You’ve ... you’ve been different ....” Donnie told him, rubbing his back. 

Mikey scoffed. “Wouldn’t you be? You have someone wanting to make love with you.... but they’re not reciprocating .... despite your best attempts.” He told him, pulling away from Donnie.

“Mike .....” Donnie started, he knew what he wanted to say, but he wasn’t sure where to begin. 

“Were you lying? All of you?” Mike spat. “I tried the direct approach, telling you that I want you. I’ve tried the indirect approach. But none of you are doing anything-“

“MAYBE WE’RE SCARED, MICHELANGELO!” Donnie snapped at him, causing Mikey to look at him in fear. Donnie rarely snapped at anyone, especially Mikey. 

“Of what? What in the world do you have to be scared of?” Mikey asked, his walls building up. 

“Mikey .... sex is a big step in any relationship. It changes everything.” Donnie told him honestly. “It’s something you have to think about .... if we have sex and feelings change for the worst .... are you still going to be able to look at me?” He asked. “Even if just as a brother?” He asked, shyly. 

“H... how could ... how could they change for the worst?” Mikey asked, adding a whole extra plateful of worry to his mind. 

“He means, what if you fall out of love with us,” Raph said, leaning in the doorway. Mike looked up at him with a scowl. 

“I’ve loved you all of my life ..... why would I fall out of love?” He asked, upset. “Just ... Just tell  
me you’re lying ... that you don’t feel it too.” 

Raph growled in annoyance and stormed off, causing Mike to sigh in sadness and pull his legs back up. Donnie stared at the door as he continued to rub at Mikey’s back. “Mikey. I understand where you’re coming from. I’ve been out for longer than you. It’s hard, but I get it.”

“Donnie .....” Mikey sighed. “If you get it, why won’t you let me try? The last make out we had was so hot. So intense, I thought that I was going to break my shell.....” Mikey said, trying to explain. “I could tell you wanted it too. I could feel the bulge in your plastron. But .... you wouldn’t let me touch you.” He said. 

“Mikey.....” Donnie replied. “I’m scared, okay? There’s no going back once we cross that line.” He told him firmly before leaning in and kissing Mikey’s cheek gently. “I don’t want to hurt you .... not be enough for you.” He admitted. 

Mikey looked at him, confused. “Enough?” He asked, trying to understand where Donnie was coming from. 

“Yea .... what ... what if we have sex .... and you decide that .... you’d rather be with Raph or Leo. I don’t know..... if I can take that rejection.” Donnie explained. 

Mikey nodded as he realized what Don was telling him. “We ... we wouldn’t know until we do it. Why worry about the what-ifs?” Mikey said, leaning in shakily towards Donnie. “Donnie .... even if we don’t go all the way just yet ...when ... when we’re ready. I want you to be my first.” Mikey admitted before closing the gap between them to kiss him deeply.

Donnie melted into the kiss, reaching up to cup Mikey’s face as he kissed him back. Maybe he needed to take a page out of Mikey’s book and not worry as much. Pulling back gently, Donnie looked at Mikey. “A... are you sure?” He asked, realizing what Mikey had told him. “What about the others?”

Mikey nodded shyly. “I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it ..... how I think it would go with each of you. I think .... Leo would be too serious about it, Raph would be too rough..... you’d be perfect.” He admitted. “I’ve gotten that feeling from you too.... that you’d love to be my first....”

Donnie blushed as he listened to him. To be honest, he had considered the same thoughts regarding his older brothers. The one that had plagued his dreams the most was Mikey. He had wondered for years how the orange banded terrapin would be in bed, would he be wild and crazy like his personality, or would he be the total opposite? 

Donnie ran his fingers along Mikey’s face and scalp. “I’m ... I’m not ready to have sex yet. But .... if you want to do more, I’m ... I’m okay ... as long as we take it slow.” Donnie told him cautiously. 

Mikey nodded and smiled shyly, leaning in to kiss him again, hoping that they could just let things progress naturally. Mikey laid down on the bed with Donnie, wanting to be comfortable as they made out. “If you want to stop.... we can stop. Just say the word,” he told his brother before kissing him again, letting his hands explore the top half of Donnie’s body.

Donnie tensed as he felt Mikey’s hands on him, and tried to relax. It was Mikey touching him. His “baby” brother. One of the only people he knew and trusted since the day they mutated. Mikey wouldn’t hurt him. Not intentionally anyway. 

“Breathe, Don. Relax.” Mikey said as he kissed at his neck before moving down his body slowly, kissing at the knicks and cuts in his plastron from years of battles. Donnie swallowed around the lump in his mouth as he nodded and watched Mikey slowly kiss his way down. 

Mikey slipped his fingers down between Donnie’s legs before pushing Donnie onto his back and moving in between his legs. “Do you trust me?” Mikey asked him as he kissed gently at the dark green muscles surrounding him. 

Donnie nodded without a second thought. He trusted Mikey with his life. Mikey smiled softly and tongued slowly at the base of Don’s plastron, smirking slowly as he felt the bulge hidden beneath its hard shell. 

Knowing that he would drop down lower than the plastron, but also knowing that his organ was well hidden, Mikey couldn’t touch Donnie’s cock until he came out to play. “Drop down for me, Donnie .... let me see,” he whispered huskily. Donnie nodded again and released himself into Mikey’s waiting hand.

“Mmm hi there,” Mikey purred as he wrapped a hand around Donnie’s thick length and stroked slowly, earning a surprised, high pitched, churr from Donnie who blushed and hid his face behind his hands.

“Don’t.... I liked it,” Mikey said, grinning as he continued to stroke him, leaning in to lick at the spongy head teasingly. “Fuck Donnie.... you taste ... so good,” he whispered as he continued to stroke and lick at the head, listening to his brother turned lover to make sure that Don wanted this. 

Donnie tried to regulate his breathing, but truth be told, he just couldn’t. The feelings of Mikey’s mouth and hand on him sent his brain into a vortex that only got more intense the more of his cock Mikey put into his mouth. 

Slowly, Mikey worked Don’s entire length into his mouth, surprising even himself considering how long Donnie was. Donnie turned into a puddle of semi-constant churrs as he felt Mikey’s throat around his length. 

Sucking on him for a few minutes, Mikey pulled up to just the head, stroking him as he sucked on the head, loving the sounds that Donnie was making. Shifting a tiny bit, Mikey held on to Donnie’s thighs and started to bob his head along his length, giving his all to his brother. 

Donnie let out a long churr as he gripped Mikey’s head, growling out as he came without warning. Mikey gagged slightly but swallowed what he could before pulling back and licking him clean. 

Donnie closed just eyes and breathed deeply as he laid there, his mind reeling from what had just happened. Mikey took a deep breath and moved up to lie next to his brother, cuddling him shyly and trying to ignore his own aching length. 

Donnie laid there, tense, his mouth moving slowly. Mikey bit his lip and looked at Donnie as he continued. Mikey realized that Donnie was reciting the formula for Pi. Donnie knew Pi out to a thousand places and would start to describe it when he was panicking. Mikey frowned and sat up, looking at him. “Donnie? Please ... please say something.” He said, his breath catching in his throat. 

Mikey reached out and started to rub at Donnie’s plastron, trying to calm Donnie down. “Donnie, I’m sorry. I went too fast .... I shouldn’t have done this.” He said, starting to freak out. Mikey’s breath caught in his throat as he worked himself up. Donnie was still not responding to him. He knew his brother had the occasional panic attacks, but he was always responsive. 

Donnie paused once he reached the 1000th number and blinked a few times, looking at Mikey before pulling him close. “N... no tears....” he whispered, shaking slightly as he reached up to wipe away the tears that were escaping Mikey’s sky blue eyes. “I’m sorry....” Donnie said, feeling ashamed. “It’s not you. It’s me. I... I didn’t know it would feel like that.”

“It felt good, right? You wanted it?” Mikey said, shaking. Donnie reached up and cupped Mikey’s face and kissed him tenderly, tasting himself on Mikey’s mouth. 

“It felt amazing, Mikey. It overloaded my brain,” he said sheepishly. “I’m sorry I panicked,” Donnie told him as he pressed their foreheads together. “I had to calm myself down, remind myself that it was you, that it was okay. That there is nothing wrong with what we did.” He rambled, trying to explain. 

Mikey nodded and felt his breath catch in his throat, hiccuping slightly. He felt stupid. He rushed Donnie, and now Donnie is trying to ignore his own feelings to make Mikey feel better. 

“Mikey .... don’t ..... it’s alright. I told you, it’s a big step. My brain overloaded. It felt so good, Mikey ... are you sure you’ve never done that before?” He asked, smiling shyly. 

Mikey blushed and rubbed the back of his head. “Unless you count the cucumbers April brings us.....” he admitted as he nuzzled Donnie’s face. “Are you sure ... you’re okay with the-“ Mikey squeaked as Donnie flipped their positions and pinned Mikey down on the bed. 

“My turn,” Donnie told him, a husk to his voice as he kissed down Mikey’s chest. Mikey nodded and swallowed hard as he felt Donnie kissing his body. “Y... you want this, right?” Donnie asked him, kissing the inside of his thighs. 

Mikey nodded and bit his lip. “Please ....” he whimpered. This was already a thousand times better than his dreams. Donnie moved up and wrapped his hand along Mikey’s length. 

“You’re so thick.....” Donnie muttered as he kissed and licked along the length slowly. Donnie started to mentally count Pi again as he licked at Mikey’s length, finding the vein underneath and rubbing the tip of his tongue along it. 

“Fuckkk. Donnieeeeee.” Mikey breathed his pleasure out. He didn’t want to be too loud, but he wanted Donnie to know he was enjoying it. Mikey moved a hand down and ran his fingers along Donnie’s head in encouragement. 

Donnie took a deep breath and wrapped his mouth around the head of Mikey’s cock, his mind reeling as he heard the sounds of pleasure that Mikey was making. Donnie had watched as many videos as he could to learn how to do this well, as well as read as many books as he could, but he couldn’t remember anything that he had read or watched. 

Sucking on the head as though it was a lollypop, Donnie continued his oral assault, trying different things to see what Mikey liked. Slipping a hand down, Donnie started to play with Mikey’s tail, smirking as he heard the cursing coming from above him. 

Pulling off to take a deep breath, Donnie continued to stroke Mikey’s length, kissing at the base and shuddering as he smelled Mikey’s arousal. Swallowing around the nervous lump in his throat, Donnie kissed lower, earning a surprised squeak from Mikey. Donnie did it again when he didn’t hear Mikey telling him to stop. He trusted his brother enough to ask him to stop if it was too much. 

Slowing his strokes, Donnie kissed at Mikey’s opening, moving slightly to get more comfortable as he continued, easing the very tip of his tongue inside. Mikey was squirming and churring happily as he felt Donnie’s ministrations. He didn’t know his brother had it in him. 

Donnie pulled up slowly to breathe, watching his brother's face as he brought his hand up. “Mikey? ... Mikey, do you trust me?” Donnie asked shakily, half expecting his brother to change his mind. 

Mikey looked at Donnie curiously. “Huh? Gods Donnie ... whatever you’re doing .... fuck,” he churred, shuddering. “I trust you with my life,” Michelangelo told Donatello firmly. 

Donnie nodded and bit his lip as he rubbed a thick finger along Mikey’s opening. He didn’t know what was coming over him. He told Mikey that he wasn’t ready for sex, but here he was, rubbing his finger against his brother's ass. 

Mikey tensed slightly as he felt him and took a deep breath, trying to relax. He knew he trusted Donnie and knew that Donnie wouldn’t hurt him. “A... are you sure?” Mikey asked his purple banded brother, wanting to make sure he hadn’t forced him into anything. 

“Very sure,” Donnie replied before gently easing a finger into Mikey, frowning as he saw the pain on his brother's face. “Did I hurt you?”

“Don... Donnie, I’m kind of... dry.” Mikey admitted, a blush creeping upon his face. Even though he had read numerous websites about anal sex, and knew about lube, he hadn’t thought about needing that so soon. 

Donnie’s face paled as he pulled back, taking a deep breath. “I ... I hadn’t thought of that, I don’t wanna hurt you, Mikey....” he said shaking as he put as much space between them as he could manage. 

Mikey sat up and reached for Donnie’s hand. “Donnie ... Baby, it’s okay, you weren’t thinking, you were excited....” he said, frowning as he heard Donnie reciting numbers again. “Oh... oh, Gods ... Donnie?” Mikey asked, realization coming over him. “Donnie.... you didn’t have to reciprocate if you weren’t ready!” He said, feeling upset. 

Donnie shook his head and pulled his legs to his chest, rocking slightly as he continued to recite. Never had he had to recite Pi as often as he had to today. 

Mikey rubbed his face and watched Donnie. What he had been doing felt absolutely fabulous, Donnie was a natural, but Mikey felt guilty. Donnie forced himself to go through a panic attack to please him. 

“I.... I’m sorry, Donnie.... I’ll leave you alone now.” He said, standing up and looking for something to cover himself up with. Grabbing a nearby towel, Mikey wrapped it around him before heading to the door, only to be stopped by a hand grasping his wrist. Turning to look at Donnie, Mikey was nervous as he saw the look on Donnie’s face.

“L... lay back down.... I need ... I need to do this.” Donnie said, his voice shaky. Mikey hesitated, not wanting to feel as though he had forced his brother into this. Donnie pulled on his wrist again and looked at him pleadingly. 

Mikey nodded shyly and sat back down, looking at his brother. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt him. Donnie leaned in and captured his lips with his own, hands reaching up to cup Mikey’s face. He wanted this, he really did. But the reality was overwhelming and completely different than how he had imagined it happening. 

Sliding his hand down once more, Donnie deftly opened the towel and wrapped a calloused hand around Mikey’s length and started to stroke him eagerly, breaking the kiss so he could kiss along Mikey’s neck. 

Mikey gasped and churred as he felt Donnie’s hand on him. Bucking into his hand slightly, Mikey arched his back as much as his shell would allow as he let the pleasure wash over him. Feeling a slight chill suddenly, Mikey opened his eyes that he didn’t realize he had closed to see Donnie steeling himself before leaning down, taking Mikey’s length to the hilt and sucking him for all he was worth. 

Bringing his hand up to his mouth, Mikey bit hard to keep the animalistic howl from escaping as he felt his brother's mouth on him. “Cl... close. So close,” Mikey warned Donnie, unsure if his brother would want to taste him. 

To answer, Donnie sucked harder on Mikey’s length, working his throat muscles around the head, causing Mikey to let out a loud churr as he came, bucking into Donnie’s waiting mouth. 

Donnie swallowed what he could, surprised by the taste. He didn’t hate it. He wasn’t sure if he liked it, but he was sure he didn’t hate the taste of his little brother. 

Panting, Mikey waited until Donnie pulled off of him to grab him and kiss him hungrily. Donnie reciprocated in turn until the two pulled apart, panting. 

“I’m sorry if that was too much,” Donnie told Mikey, who shook his head and pulled the genius to lay down on the bed with him. Pulling him close, Mikey nuzzled Donnie’s neck. 

“It’s okay. You scared me earlier....” Mikey admitted once his breathing returned to normal. “When you had your panic attack. The second one.” He clarified, meaning when Donnie was about to breach him without lube. 

Donnie nodded. “I wanted to ... feel you from the inside. Feel your insides, I mean. Then you looked panicked, which made me panic...”

“Which made me panic even more....” Mikey finished. “We panicked, but we got through it. Fuck, Donnie. I didn’t know your mouth could feel that good.” He told his brother with a grin. “Hot damn.”

“Damn Leo, we missed the show,” Raph said with a grin from the doorway, cackling slightly as the orange and purple turtles went to cover up. “We’ll talk later,” Raph said, winking almost awkwardly before walking away, causing Mikey to giggle. 

“That wasn’t awkward at all.” He said between giggles. 

Donnie chuckled and shook his head, snuggling into Mikey’s warmth. “Thank you.” 

“For what?” Mikey asked, confused.

“For taking your time with me. For not rushing me.” Donnie admitted with a yawn. “I’m still a little scared you’re going to change your mind about this.....” 

“Don’t worry about that. It won’t happen. If it does, I’ll talk to you, promise? But you have to promise to talk to me too.” Mikey told him, serious for the time being. 

Donnie nodded and smiled shyly. “Of course.” He said, kissing his younger brother gently. “Of course.” 

The two of them fell asleep between sleepy kisses and in each other’s arms.  



End file.
